The Problem with An Out-N-Back Is That You Have to Make It Back...

It was nice to wake up today without the aid of an alarm clock and air raid. Ike and I actually woke up at 7:30 am without the usual 4 alarms and wearing off the snooze button. Since I've been sleeping about 12-15 hours a day for the last month I was a little surprised I woke up so early on my own without feeling like I had been run down by a mack truck in my sleep and felt a notch above semi-crappy. After some breakfast and bad t.v. I decided to give a ride a whirl...

I set out with 2 bottles and zero agenda. Well, my agenda was to survive. Started out towards Montclair. Got to Montclair and felt okay. Not so bad. I can do this. Rode around Brookdale a few times. Decided to do my Fairfield loop. About 1.5 hours in I could feel my legs going and I was getting tired. As usual I am always in denial and thought it would pass. I got to my usual turnaround point and headed towards Cedar Grove. I made it to the mental hospital (trails, that is. Mental hospital trails). I ended up heading up to Hilltop to ride on the hallowed training grounds of such local legends as Ledonne and Montalbano. Climbing up the "Turkling Trail" I looked to my left and right and felt dizzy. It felt like the woods were speeding past me. It was like when you're stopped at a light in your car and the car beside you moves and you stomp on the brake because your brain tricks you into thinking you're moving...I then realized there were about 3 hens and around 15 or so chicks. The woods were moving! I'm not having a seizure! It was wild!


I swear there are turkeys in this picture and they were talking to me...

I huffed and I puffed and made it to the bottom of the trail that climbs to Hilltop. I've never worked so hard to go so slow. Hilltop is either climbing or descending. It's cut on the side of a hill (Uhhmm..hence the name Hilltop). I made it up to the infamous "Lyme Disease" climb. Weeds. Weeds. And more weeds. Technically I was awful. The rocks ate me up. I was just soo tired I couldn't get my ass off the saddle. I flashed back to one of my first bike rides around the lake at Cannonball and joggers were passing me! Wow. I'm tired. Fight it. I did get a rest when I did a header over a log. Bike on oneside, body on the other. Bottles somewhere in between. I laid on my side for a moment or two and reevaluated my day. I came to the conclusion that getting my hair cut would have probably been a wiser choice.

Looked at my watch. Shit. I've been out here for 2.5 hours. I'm not going to make it home! Descended Hilltop (the best part) and ducked back on the rail trail to cut through the reservoir. I didn't have the legs to even granny up Francisco. I rode through the Mills and popped out on Normal Ave. Now, I'm out of fluids. I stopped by a pool and used the machines outside to fill-up. I can make it home. I think. I hope. I was thinking that I saw Stacey's car in the driveway on my way out. She would come pick me up. Would my bike fit in a cab?

I started to mentally check off landmarks in my head as to track my progress home. Starbucks, Gap, Dog Park...Roche, horrible Kingland and Main intersection, Target SWEET Target (we're rolling now!), Ahh Rutt's Hutt, the Rutherford Park, Stacey's house, yes, I'm almost there...one last hill. Jackson Hill. It's really not much but it felt like I was going to pull a hammy trying to get home. I stumbled deliriously in the door. That's more activity in one day than I've done in weeks! Nap time...

Bumper Stumpers

Seriously...

Not so much.

Summer Soigneur

I wonder if Michael Jackson's arms looked this bad before he died? Random thoughts that come to mind after being put through a days worth of tests. I'm most certain I've actually picked up some disease in my travels to various labs, hospitals and doctor's offices. I really enjoyed the two ladies in the masks hacking and coughing on me. Thanks for that.

Now that I feel like I'm truly radioactive all I can do is wait. This is always the best part. There usually is no concrete answer. After years dealing with this I've gotten used to no real reason besides "you're flared up". It's a catch-all response that those of us with auto-immune diseases have come to know and resent. Unfortunately, after hearing it enough you come to accept it.

My symptoms have been different as of late. I know it's something different. Whether some M.D. in a lab coat supports this is another story.

I'm used to being tired, but not this tired. Used to headaches, but these are nasty. Joint pain has always been an issue for me, but the joints that hurt now have never given me much trouble. The night sweats are my favorite by far. I can't wait for menopause. So I wait. The new rheumatologist is thinking it could be an infection (maybe tick borne). I was put on a broad spectrum antibiotic for now to see if that helps. Other than that...well your guess is a s good as mine.

This will be the first time in 3 years (basically since I started to ride a bike) that I'm not going to be able to do the 40. The summer has been a bust...I was feeling great in the winter and early spring and even had a win at the Mash...then, well, April came and it all went to hell...

I have been kidding myself that I can just ride the 40. Right now I wouldn't be able to finish. I keep having delusions that in 2 weeks I will feel miraculously better. Unfortunately, my body doesn't seem to work that way. It's still getting over the illness at the end of April and now some new ailment has come onboard. I'm having issues finishing a full days work, let alone riding a bike.

Every so often I jump on the S/S and go for a cruise. It usually ends abruptly with me wanting to call Mike and have him come pick me up a 1/2 mile from the house. Sad, I know. I'm hoping whatever this is will get better and I'll be back to normal soon. Until then I'm a Soigneur.