Sunday, August 26, 2012

LARP Block



LARPers Point

I headed to one of my favorite local haunts for a ride on Saturday and I climbed to the top of Castle Hill Point. I always get to the top, ride through the 'castle', drop down an old stair case and ride back out. Being that it was Saturday, I expected to see people.  It's a hiking hot spot and there is a really pretty overlook. However, I did not expect my company to be dressed in Renaissance garb, carrying swords and an array of weapons. I think I even saw a wench of some sort. As I was weaving around and through the old structure I heard chatter and activity, I saw a man jump off of an old stairway landing into what probably was probably the cellar at one time and scream, "JAHILL! I will avenge you! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" There was commotion and some other war chant and I was confused, alarmed, impressed he didn't twist an ankle on the drop and intrigued all at the same time. Before I knew it, I had turned and I was right smack dab in the middle of about 8+ LARPers (Live Action Role Play for those of you not in the know). Action stopped. SILENCE. They looked at me. I at them. I felt their disapproving stares. I stared at their costumes and tried to take it all in in a matter of seconds. They were not happy to see me. I was ready for them to scream, "INTRUDER!" and attack me. They didn't. It would have made my ride that much more interesting. I just nodded and pedaled off.

Found this on the web. Similar, but my LARPers costumes had a lot more detail

I've been told (I have some friends in the LARP know or who "have a friend"...yeah, right) that it's very secretive so I'm always surprised when I see them, especially in a higher traffic area. I pedaled out and back down the hill. A lady was hiking up with two BIG dogs. I told her that they were in there. I heard the F-bomb under her breathe, she muttered something about them being in there again and wrangled her bigger dog who she said tries to eat them. Yeah, he probably thinks she's under attack.

After a while, I climbed back up and they were gone. I began thinking about them and smiled because they probably thought the sweaty, panting lady in spandex was just as odd as I thought they were.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Groundhog Day(s)


To say I've been in a lull as of late would be a major understatement. It started before the W101 and I still haven't shaken it. It's part auto-immune disease and part mental burn out. I haven't been right since the 101. Easy rides have been the only things I have been able to muster in between work, couch time and sick days and I'm beginning to worry. So much so that I'm starting to lose confidence that the SM100 is going to happen. I was able to get out over the weekend and break a sweat. It's a step forward, but I still have some doubt.


I've also come to the realization over these past few weeks that my fun button is in disrepair. The bike has not really represented a good time for me as of late. I decided to try and have 'fun' and ride the rocky, technical trails at Skyline Drive that I used to love and that used to make me smile. It took about a half hour of going through the motions. After being knocked around, hitting my cranks and nearly catapulting myself from my bike on a few occasions, nearly losing an appendage, cursing at rocks and trees, my fun button and smile was fully functional again.


In other news, our groundhog relocation program is up and running. It was no big deal they were in the yard at first. The babies were cute and we watched them frolic in the yard. Then they grew up and started making condos on the hill and a commune under the shed. Hewitt Howard was the first one caught on Saturday and he was relocated a mile or so away. Which I've since learned is not far enough. Upper Greenwood Lake Gail was next. Of course, she decided to wander into the trap while I was out on a road ride. I came home and there she was. Imprisoned because she could not resist the temptation of a delectable piece of honeydew. She was relocated to prime real estate with a wooded lot, rock features and a stream. How many more are there? I'd say 4 more at least. Another family is probably going to move in once they're gone, anyway. I'm sure they're watching from afar and enjoying the show until they can get their claws into the property. Kind of like checking the obituaries to see if someone has passed away in a high demand neighborhood/building in the city. I'm sure this will be an ongoing program. We also have Gigantor the Skunk who likes to roam the yard at night. I'm serious. He's huge. He can do whatever he wants far as I'm concerned. The trap is not set at night because there is no way I'm getting close enough to relocate a damn skunk. I have my limits.

Pretty much that's been my excitement. I'm pretty boring these days. Yesterday, there was a Matlock marathon on. That's right. I DVRed it. I love me some Matlock. I have the television habits of an 80-year old. Can't wait to make my tea tonight, put on my pjs and finish up some work while watching Ben work his magic.

Monday, August 13, 2012


The sentiment of my socks pretty much says it all. I rode Wawayanda on Saturday and was casually cruising along and something stung me on the nose.  I screeched. As anyone who is lucky enough to be a part of the exclusive Epi Pen clan will tell you, the first instinct is to panic. I tried not to panic. I motored out of the singletack as fast as I could in case there was another perpetrator and onto a fire road. My eyes were watering and I wanted to claw at my face. It stung like a bitch. Was it a sting or a bite? I kept asking myself. I didn't know what it was at that point. All I knew is that the pain started moving from my nose across my cheek and up into my eye. I could feel my nose swelling and could see it growing out of the corner of my eye. Now I had to weigh my options. Do I use the Epi Pen now? Do I wait it out a little longer? I'm terribly allergic to bees and their little waspy and hornety cousins. No joke. I get hives and my throat starts to close up. I have reactions to horse and deer flies but not of the anaphylactic variety. I still get some really crazy reaction and swelling from their bites. I weighed my options. If you've ever unloaded your Epi Pen into yourself mid ride in the woods, you know that it is not a pleasant ride back home. I pedaled a little more and could still breathe. Always a good sign. My glasses were now crooked because of the swelling on the one side of my face. I felt like I was wearing Groucho Marx nose glasses. I decided that I was going to survive and it was obviously not a bee and made it home to take an antihistamine and ice my swollen face.

Made me think that maybe it's time to start those allergy shots my allergist is always talking about...

It also made me think that there has to be a better way to carry a stupid Epi Pen on the bike. There needs to be some contraption or pouch system sleeve thingy. I either have to put it in my jersey pocket or tape it to my top tube.  I know. Waaaaaaaaaah. Big deal. Who cares, right? I know I'm not the only one who has to carry one. I've actually thought about sewing a little secret pocket in my jersey to hold it. I thought about it. Drew it. Then I got side tracked and bored and it never happened. Maybe I'll drag the sewing machine back out and an old stinko jersey and try again. It could be all the rage.

Friday, August 10, 2012

One More


Today I finally bit the bullet and registered for the SM100. I've been putting it off. There will be no Hampshire 100 for me as planned. At this point, I would rather eat my own toenails than do another hundred in a week. I figure by Sept. 2nd I will be ready to roll again...mentally and physically (I hope).

I haven't had much active time since the W101. I've been in full on flare-up mode since. Everything hurts. It was bound to happen. The humidity does not agree with me. I always have trouble in the early spring and July/August.  I would rather full on rain than hot and humid.

I made this mistake of looking at the Shen elevation profile today while I was eating lunch. It shouldn't shock me. I rode it last year. It's the one hundred I have experienced and know what to expect. It sure as hell doesn't look as bad as Cohutta on paper. My goal as of today: FINISH and NO CRYING (Thanks, W101, for making that a goal). Oh yeah, and no tummy issues. That was a Lumberjack to remember.

I think I have my top tube print-out ready:

FINISH

NO CRYING

NO POOPING

This is one glamorous sport.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Start Somewhere

I have a friend, O, and she used to be a dancer. She's put on some weight over the years, but when you look at her you can tell at one time she had quite the body. She's still beautiful, don't get me wrong. With multiple back and neck injuries and surgeries and various other injuries, her lifestyle changed and years later, well, let's just say she doesn't lead the healthiest lifestyle. There's been years of inactivity and she smokes. A fact that I point out to her on a regular basis. I've become somewhat obnoxious. She's been on various diets and has tried to go to various exercise classes. Nothing stuck. Now she's been walking regularly and has kept up with it and has even started jogging. She told me the other day that she would like to try to jog more and attempt a 5k. I secretly was super stoked for her and I tried to contain my excitement. I didn't do a very good job. O told me to wipe the smile off my face and that I was mostly happy because misery loves company. True story. I also would like to see her healthy. She wanted to go to a running specialty store and get fitted for shoes and asked me to come because she said she is too embarrassed to walk into those stores because she does not look like a runner. I understood completely. I get anxious going into certain stores. People can be douchebags. We walked in and were immediately met by a sales associate named, Lord (we are in the NY Metro Area). Lord looked like a runner. Lord REALLY liked himself. Lord was condescending and was more demotivating than helpful. I then became of the belief that Lord named himself. As my friend was browsing she picked up a nutritional product out of curiosity (she's never seen any of that stuff and is always horrified/intrigued by my talk of nutritional products) and Lord said to look at the calorie and fat content. It was very high. It's for "athletes who are able to run long distances. It's not for you." This was the fourth or fifth time he pointed out to her that certain items were not for her. What a douche. I saw her get embarrassed and I was biting my tongue and getting ready to say something (I had thoughts of kicking him in the nuts) and then she said, "Why? Is it because you think I'm too fat that I could not possibly run? I'm not and can never be an athlete? What a great sales person." Boom. Silence. He stuttered, tried some lame apology that wasn't the least bit sincere and then looked like he wanted to flee. I may have been smiling and relishing in his discomfort. She asked for another sales associate. Enter Janelle. Janelle was good. Janelle was clearly fit as shit but she did not give the I-am-better-than-you-because-I'm-a-real-runner-vibe. She was extremely helpful and supportive.


To show my solidarity, I too, went through the shoe and sports bra fitting and felt a little violated in the process. Things were going well. There were shoes, bras and socks to be purchased. I then lost O for a moment. As I caught a glimpse of her in the corner looking at the chafing accessories and toe condoms she loudly screeched, "My nipples are going to bleed? Are you kidding. Nobody told me my nipples are going to bleed! What is wrong with you people?" I nearly choked with laughter and ran over to her as did Janelle. She pointed her finger at me and told me I was not allowed to answer because I was always busted and I had the gnarliest feet on earth and a little nipple bleeding would probably be deemed normal for me (it wouldn't). Another sales associate was standing there and he was in the process of beginning to explain to her that this could happen. I gave him the 'shoosh' and 'cut it' signal and Janelle jumped in. She explained that men and women who don't have much of a chest are the ones who are at risk for bleeding nipples. Her facial expression was priceless. She looked down at her chest and smiled. She's well endowed so this calmed her down. She asked Janelle what other horrors she should know about before embarking on this journey. I remarked with something along the lines of you won't know until it happens and strange shit may occur. I got an evil look and let Janelle handle it. Chafing came up and luckily did not freak her out. She's already had issues because of walking so much. Some products were added to the purchase and she felt better.

I remember when I first started riding a bike I went to a bike shop and the guy was a total jackass. I remember he was missing a finger and thinking to myself that he must have treated another female like this and pissed her off and she ripped his finger off. Good for her. One could only hope. Nonetheless, whenever anyone speaks of this shop my hackles go up and I may spew some venom. He had that much of a lasting impression on me.


So why do I go on about our experience? Because I think it's a common fitness/sports industry practice to make people feel bad. I don't know that some even know they do it. Some I'm pretty sure they know and it's intentional. Those are the real douchebags. I've had some horrible experiences at running stores and bike shops in the past. I think it's unfortunate that some make people who are already trying to do something that intimidates and scares the hell out of them feel more anxious and question the decision to to do so. Not everyone wants to compete. It's not like everyone has aspirations on being an Olympian or superstar. Most just want to challenge themselves and be healthy. It's about the experience. Regardless of the motive, we all started somewhere. I think a few of us just forget that sometimes.

On a side note: My girl jogged constantly for a mile for the very first time last night. No nipples were harmed. She did mention something about hacking up a smoker's lung...if she sticks with it I think that issue will be easier to resolve.