Well, it's the time of year when I usually go off on my annual anti-Christmas rant. Don't worry. Nothing has changed. I wouldn't want to give you the impression that I have sought help for my holiday hatred and anxiety that wakes me up in the middle of the night with my heart beating out of my chest and the inability to catch my breath. I wish I could say I was kidding. I need some sort of support group or medication or both. I'm one car with antlers and a Rudolph nose away from a full blown psychotic break. Speaking of cars dressed up like Rudolph, one almost clipped me on Clinton Rd. on Sunday when I was on the bike. Fitting, right? It could be payback from when I ran over Santa a couple of years ago.


Ringwood through a schweaty lens

I decided to escape to Skyline over the weekend for some quality alone time with my bike. I had a couple of goals: Release some of my Christmas crazy lady and do a quality post-injection wrist shake-down. Check and check. Unfortunately, the reduced crazy part didn't last that long, but the wrist fared well. If I can ride there with only a few whimpers, I'll be okay. I just hope there is ample time before I need the next round of injections.

Tonight instead of making my usual peppermint brownies for my work potluck, I'm making a batch of my "Power Balls". No I'm not doing it as a sick joke or punishment. I was actually asked to make them by a couple of people who were brave enough to try them. They are made to be in a jersey pocket or shoved into a sports bra during a ride. I never really thought I would be making them for co-workers. I could have made them into bars to make them more party appropriate, but then I won't be able to giggle when people talk about my tasty balls.

They look down right offensive and like some sort of fecal matter. They're good. Really.

My doctor was right (you'd think he's been wrist specialist for 20 years or something). The MRI confirmed that I have a tear in the triangular fibrocartilage and joint damage exactly where he said it was. I got a lecture and was told to take up swimming. He told me there is a 95% chance I will need surgery in the future. It could be 6 months. It could be years. Although, with my activity level, choice of activities and arthritis, he's thinking my date is more realistic. I'm shooting for late September/early October 2013. It's good to have a goal. I'm hoping the two cortisone injections I got today take the edge off and buy me some time. I've done pretty well with cortisone injections in other joints, so I'm hoping my wrist will be no different.

Anything that involves twisting and pronation and I'm screwed. I 'm using my left arm more than ever and I know it's gotten a hell of a lot stronger. Still working on that right-sided dismount off the bike. I am also caving and buying a left-handed can opener. I finally understand the pain that has been plaguing lefties for years.



And now for some non-injury, non-bike related news. We are thinking about about adding a new family member. My co-worker has been asking me if I want to come "look" at her parents' rottie. He's "young and bored" as her mother is ill and can't really do much with him and they spend a lot of their time in Florida. Her sister takes minimal care of him while they are gone. I've been putting meeting him off for a year (mainly because I'm still heartbroken over Ike) and her dad asks her if I've reconsidered every day. Let's just say she's sly always finds a way to sneak in cute stories about him and texts me photos. Today, I finally caved and told her we will be there this weekend. We could go and meet him and it may not work. We may not get along. Of course, it is always a possibility that we may have 120lbs. + of dog this weekend.

If it does happen, I have a feeling Mike will feel more at ease leaving me alone when he goes away for a week or two.  

No Bueno

Consider this a PSA for those of you wanting to embark on a Whole30 or any dietary change. This is a cautionary tale. Let's review shall we?

Besides a tasting on Thanksgiving, I have really been sticking to the Whole9 way: No grains, no dairy, no legumes, no sugar and basically, no processed crap.

Well, I've always been a big Chipotle or Moe's fan. For about a month now that has been my one craving that I could not shake. So Saturday, after a ride we got home, cleaned up, did some things around the house and I still was perseverating about a burrito. So we went to Taco Hombre (a local Chipotle/Moe's-like place). I had a burrito with shredded beef and absolutely everything I haven't had in a while: tortilla, cheese, beans, rice. I even drank a coke with it. Ummm...that's pretty much everything I haven't been eating wrapped in a nice little tasty package washed down with a side of liquefied sugar. Burrito bomb.

I felt not so great about 10 minutes after. Fast forward about an hour later and my belly was talking and I'd swear an alien was going to bust out of my guts. I was in pain. PAIN. I won't go into the gory details but my night was spent rotating form the couch to the bathroom. Awful. Just awful.

I was supposed to meet the girls for a ride on Sunday. With a pocket full of baby wipes, I dragged myself over to the park and spun up to meet them. Let's just say I had 3 visits to the woods before they arrived. During the ride, I didn't know if I was going to barf or crap myself. It was touch and go for the first hour then eventually, I started to feel a little better. I sucked down 5 bottles in less than 3 hours. It kinda felt like riding off a wicked hangover.

Just say "No".

I learned my lesson. Baby steps. I guess you could say it was aversion therapy.

The Whole30 Experience

Hooray! It happened. As of November 7th, I completed the Whole30 experience. I'm not gonna lie, it was rough going for a while, but at the end I can honestly say that it was a great experience.

Pre-Work

I didn't just decide to do this and start the following day. For once, I put a lot of planning and preparation into this. I wanted to make sure that if I was going to do it, I was going to do it by the book. I read It Starts With Food cover to cover. I actually planned and prepared by shopping and did internet recon of what other's Whole30 experience had been like. If you are thinking about doing it, I can't stress enough to read the book and to plan.

The Basics

No sugar.

No legumes.

No dairy.

No grains.

No alcohol.

No carrageenan, MSG or sulfites.

Recommended that the food that you do put into your body is grass-fed and organic.

Eat three meals a day.

Allowed a pre-workout snack and post-workout snack. 

Limit snacking at all other times.

Don't measure your food.

No stepping on a scale during the Whole30.

Week 1: Initial Excitement with a Side of Bacne

As with anything shiny and new, I was excited and enthusiastic and singing "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" the first week. I cooked up a storm and didn't mind getting home at 8:00 pm at night and then having to cook dinner and my next day's lunch. Those first few days flew by. By Day 4, I noticed I was having horrible afternoon headaches and that I felt the need to take a nap under my desk. Day 5, I broke out like a hormonal teenager. Sexy bacne and all. I haven't had bacne since...well...I don't ever remember having bacne. Clearly my body was freaking out. I was shiny and greasy. I had to go to Walgreen's and buy an arsenal of Stridex and Clearasil products fit for a pubescent teenager.

Day 5 and 6: I Think I May Have a Brain Tumor

Apparently, my body had become accustomed to my afternoon coffee and snack. It fought me pretty hard. The afternoon headaches were turning into all day headaches. At around 2 pm, I couldn't function. I couldn't even form sentences. Each day I felt worse and worse earlier and earlier. I lived in a constant fog. I felt like a zombie and I was told I acted and looked like I was in a trance.

I wanted to nap all day. There were quite a few dark times at the end of Week 1. Day 5ish I felt flu-like symptoms. I'm told this is the "carb flu" and it's totally normal. Every morning I would drag myself out of bed and swear I had been on a tequila bender the night before. All the side effects without the fun.

Sugar Cravings: I didn't really have any bad cravings the first week. Nothing I couldn't handle.

At the end of Week 1, I attempted to go on a ride on Saturday and a hike on Sunday. Both were a miserable experience. I talked to Smurfs and met all of the Care Bears. Rainbow Brite may have made an appearance as well. I was warned that I should not expect anything out of my body the first couple of weeks. I had the typical, "Nah, that'll never happen to me" reaction. I can work through it. How bad could it be? Well, I couldn't work through it and was awful. It was a humbling experience. I was carrying groceries in and had to take a break in the driveway. A break. In the driveway. I feared I was going to collapse and the bears and raccoons would eat my face off.

Week 2: I Don't Think I Can Do This Anymore

Day 8-11: My Body Hates Me

At the time I thought I was having a flare-up. It never amounted to anything huge or even into the usual symptoms. I think it was just my body getting used to the idea of the Whole30. I was still so tired I felt like I could sleep all day. I tossed and turned all night long the first two weeks. I tried to carry on a conversation with my best friend during Week 2 (who is a neuropsychologist) and she told me I sounded like: A) I've just had a stroke B) I was about to have a stroke C) I was drunk. "I have brain injury patients who make more sense than you. Do you smell burning toast?"

Emotionally: I was a maniac. I felt like crying and laughing all at the same time. I'll admit it. I was a crazy beast.

Physical Appearance: Hot mess. I was told I looked awful and pasty. I thought the bags under my eyes and the general unwell appearance were just something I was seeing and focusing on. Nope. Confirmed.

It took until the middle of Week 2 for me to even start feeling marginally human again. I'm not even talking about during exercise. I'm just talking about normal daily activities (like walking up the driveway without passing out). I attempted to go for a technical mountain bike ride on Day 14 and it was not good. I rode with someone for the first time on that day and she must have thought I was the biggest spaz. My coordination and timing were off. It was like it was my first time on a mountain bike. Cow tipping included.

Any sort of effort that made my HR rise would cause a hot, sick feeling to come over my body. It was a bonk, but worse. An uber bonk that could not be staved off or remedied by a sports drink, gel or bar. I had coconut water. Coconut water. I know, I know. People sing it's praises and love it. I've never been a big fan, but I was trying to learn to love it. Larabars are allowed if totally necessary during exercise. Larabars didn't make me feel any better.  Day 14 was the first day I wanted to go off plan and have a Gu or CarboRocket. I felt just bleeping awful on the bike and it was getting depressing. I remember coming home and eating, not even showering and passing out on the floor.

At the end of Week 2, my complexion finally decided to calm the hell down and I no longer felt like the reflection off my face would blind an innocent bystander and I stopped regularly mopping my face with oil absorbing sheets.

Joints: I wake up every morning like the Tin Man. If it's cold outside, even worse. I noticed I wasn't waking up so stiff and sore. My joint issues in general felt better.

Week 3: Yay for Sleep and Not Feeling Like I'm Having a Psychotic Break!

Towards the end of Week 2 and the beginning of Week 3, I consistently slept like the dead. The afternoon headaches and general crap like feeling was gone. I actually was starting to feel good all day long. I noticed that I didn't have those energy crashes throughout the day and I felt consistently good all day.

At the end of Week 3, I finally had a decent ride where I felt good. 3+ hours of feeling really good. Fueled only by coconut water.

Week 4: If I Can Stay on the Plan This Week, I Have No Excuses

I felt really good. My joints were starting to feel better and I didn't have any pesky headaches. Skin was back to normal or better.

Superstorm Sandy Happened: No power, no water for my last week of the Whole30. It looked like my Whole30 was going to be stymied. It wasn't. Luckily, I had planned for a zombie apocalypse and I was able to finish it. I had made it that far and there was no way I was failing. It wasn't pretty at times, there may have been more Gourmet Grassfed beef jerky than I care to admit for a day or two until stores were opened again, but I made it.

Despite all of the chaos, I was feeling good. I was even was waking up feeling pretty peppy, which has rarely happened. My joints felt better and overall my energy level was consistent throughout the day. Even though I was not able to take a shower for days, I was told by witnesses that I looked healthier.

Finger Nails: I could be imagining things, but I swear my fingernails were growing like crazy. 

After

Weight: This is not intended to be a weight loss diet. I was really good and did not weigh myself the first two weeks. Then curiosity go the best of me. I guess if this is the worst and only cheat on the plan I had, I can live with it. The first two weeks I dropped 7 lbs. I then proceeded to gain back 3 lbs. in the last two weeks. I blame my new addiction to macadamia nuts. It's to the point that the $$ I spend on macadamia nuts on a regular basis could now be classified as a "habit".

Still my favorite staples:

I have to admit it feels a little odd now that it's over. I imagine this is a little like what an addict goes through after getting out of a 28 day program. I still haven't added much back. The first day they suggest that you add back dairy. I tried some half and half two days after the Whole30 (technically I did the Whole32) and ate a Halloween size Kit Kat bar which, sadly, didn't taste so awesome. After that, I really didn't try anything else. It has been working so why fight it? I can't say that I really miss anything in particular. Sure, I get random cravings. Nothing $10 in macadamia nuts can't fix. And if I really, really want something, I'll eat it.

I feel better and I think it is working for me. Am I going to start preaching about the paleo/Whole9 life and how certain foods are "evil"? No, that's not my style. Different things work for different people. If you ask me I'll tell you about it, but by no means am I going to start shoving it down people's throats.

That's all for now. It took me long enough to put that together. It's a lot to wrap my head around. There most likely will be another post because I have so much more to say. I didn't even touch on the food...

The "S" Word

Staff meeting Monday. Since it is my birthday this week, a co-worker made me a birthday cake. Batman. What else?

I hear it was tasty, too. Unfortunately, I couldn't participate in the cake eating. Although the Whole30 is over, I'm still trying to stick to it. I had one of my most positive rheumatologist visits to date and even my doctor said I should keep it up. I haven't had an appointment in 10+ years where I haven't had ANY ulcerations in my nose, mouth or eyelids. I was clear. CLEAR. Whole30? I don't know for sure, but it's worth staying on the path. I still have to do a Whole30 experience post. For those of you who are curious and have been asking I will have it up soon. It's a lot to process.


In other good news, the knee feels good. I've been out trail running and hiking and navigating Superstorm Sandy's trail reroutes. And with all of this good news there of course has to be some bad news. The wrist. The wrist was getting better after my initial cross practice crash and then I hurt it again flipping a bag of ice over my shoulder during Sandy. Something went "SNAP". I went into my usual denial that it would heal up. Not happening. Saw a doctor last week and he thinks it's torn cartilage/ligaments. I have an appointment with another specialist on Wednesday. I'm hoping that it will just be a splint. I would even take a cast at this point. I'll be good. I swear. I just don't want to hear the "S" word.

I don't like that word.

Back to Normalish

Things are finally getting back to normal for us. Power and water are back and the water trucks are being taken away. That means good news for the neighborhood. 

There is one good thing that came out of this. My fridge has never been so clean. That was probably one of the nastiest cleaning jobs I've undertaken in a while. Half filled gel flask count: 9. I'm sure they were all festering with bacteria and funk. The best part is one had leaked and they were all cemented to the fridge. Damn, we are gross. They all got the boot. The bottom of the vegetable drawer is always a questionable place and this time it did not disappoint. Dry heaves. There's always some identifiable mush or a cucumber that has turned to liquid at the bottom and inevitably spills or gets on me and in my hair. The fear of liquefied veggies rivals that of expired dairy products.

I'v been staying away from the bike (or trying to) because of my little whoopsie a few weeks ago when I launched myself at speed into an uphill rock garden and landed with full weight on a bent left knee. It felt okay yesterday during a pre-work snow/slush ride. There's still a little pain when stand. I could still kind of walk up and down stairs this morning and so it's on the up and up.

I don't foresee me doing Cathedral Pines. It's not in the cards. Pushing around a big gear for 6+ hours is probably not a wise choice. I don't want a knee to ruin my winter... and then the spring and then the summer.

Planning on another singlespeeding endurance season for 2013.

I must go into it with a happy body.

Oh yeah, Whole30 completed. More on that later...

After

It's been an interesting week to say the least. We've had no power since Monday night and because we have a well that means no water. We are actually fortunate. The house is fine and we have a wood stove so we are warm. There are many who were not so lucky. Lots of people have no heat and there are a lot of houses that had major damage done. I can't even fathom the devastation done to the shore.

Common sight

We finally saw power trucks for the first time yesterday when we ventured out to get water. Rumor has it we'll have power by Friday.

Finally, power trucks have arrived

I'm one of the fortunate few who can work from home. With car chargers for the laptop and my phones, a wireless card and a vpn token I'm set. I didn't have to drive into work. I tried earlier in the week and sat for 45 minutes plus in traffic. It wasn't worth the gas, so I came home. The gas. Holy shit. People are sleeping in their cars in line at the gas stations waiting for deliveries. The lines are insane. There are only a handful of stations around here and relatively lots of people so it adds to the craziness. Lines of people with gas cans as well. If you don't have a lot gas, you can't really drive around looking for it.


These are stashed a few places around town for access

 Yesterday, I had my first real shower in 5 days at the West Milford High School. It was delightful. As fantastic as it was, it was also one of the creepier experiences I've had as of late. There were a bunch of women who had showered and were getting ready to leave as I got in the shower. I was then alone and and left with only a generator powered spot light in a creepy girls' locker room shower. All I could think about was that I was in some high school slasher flick.

So we're fine. I may die of boredom, but we're warm and have food. If I wasn't busted I would definitely have been out biking or hiking every day. My knee is angrier than ever and I still can't squat, sit, go up or down stairs without extreme pain. This dumbass also tweaked her wrist again carrying in water. Just when it was on the mend, too. It could be worse. We're alive and our house is still standing, so I'm not complaining.

Much like those who post about politics10 times a day, I have also blocked or unfriended on fb people who are complaining about not having internet access or cable yet. Seriously? Where are your priorities people? Get a fucking brain in your head. Some people lost everything and are living in shelters.

We're off to get water and shower again. Hopefully, I will not fall victim to an escaped mental patient with a butcher knife and a vendetta against high school girls...

Pre-Frankenstorm

Hurricane Sandy is upon us. Bah. Saturday was spent getting in the final ride before the wet and wind comes and making sure a few things were stashed and battened down. The whole hill behind our house looks like this:

I'm hoping things stay where they should. I really don't want to live with an African Grey parrot in a hotel room.


This has also been the week of Frankenknee. I had a little accident last weekend and lost the ability to go up and down stairs (or an incline) without looking pathetic. I was going to post a picture but it could have been be mistaken for a big, discolored ass cheek. It did not look like a knee until recently when the swollen, juiciness subsided. I can finally see my knee cap again.

Mike, Dave and I went for our pre-storm ride which I am now referring to as the 'Diva Ride'. Somebody needed a Snickers and it wasn't me and it wasn't Dave. That's all I'm gonna say. After 30 minutes of having to walk sideways up ANY incline, I decided to leave the Divaness and do what I could do on the rail trail. It's still a little angry with me today, but I have a feeling I may have a few days to rest it.


All lights are on deck and unfortunately not in anticipation of a night ride

It's Day 22 of the Whole30 today. It actually has gone by pretty quickly. I will say I have been feeling really good. On my ride yesterday, I felt better than I've felt in long time. My right leg and left leg (minus the knee) wanted to party and my lungs felt great. I couldn't get crazy, but I did notice a difference and I did not have that bonky feeling and like I wanted to take a nap on the side of a trail. Hoping there are more of those days to come.

Guess who came out to play for Halloween? Stupid Cadbury. Of course it's together with my other favorite...the holiday Reese's. Reese's always taste better when it's a pumpkin, tree or egg. I didn't do it. I did stare at it and obviously take a picture like a freak.

Instead, I came home and made "Deconstructed Pizza". There is absolutely nothing pizza like about it. Okay, maybe the olives, mushrooms and tomatoes. That's a stretch. It's actually really good. It's just not pizza. I prefer to call it "Meat Surprise with spinach and mushrooms."

Looks like I'm done blogging. Sandy's here and the lights keep flickering. Talk to you on the other side.

A Glimmer

Whole30 Day 14 is almost over and Week 3 starts tomorrow. I'm starting to feel decent for about an hour during a workout and anything over that I bonk horribly. After thinking I was going to perish in the woods last weekend after only 15 minutes, I'll take an hour.  It's something. Is it my finest hour? No, not by far. My coordination is still a little wonky and I've noticed my reaction time is a little slow. No snap in the legs and I feel like a slug. The good news is that I have finally started to sleep better and I am waking up and feeling (dare I say it?) pretty damn good. Hoping that sticks. The daily brain fog has subsided and I feel like I can now carry on a conversation and not feel like I suffer from aphasia.



Floating, sinking and rolling is not a good combo. My log rolling skills need work.

Today was the first day I actually thought about cheating. What did I want you ask? A big ice cream cone? Dark chocolate? A Coke? Gummy bears? No, I wanted a Gu. I became frustrated and tired of feeling so damn beat on the bike. I didn't cave. It's not worth it. I slogged through. I've made it this far and so far I can honestly say I've been 100% by the book . I got home and felt like I was going to pass out. I was dizzy and starving. I've yet to be this hungry since I've started this. The sweet potato didn't help. The jerky didn't do it.  I then sat on the porch in my dirty riding clothes eating macadamia nut butter out of the jar like a zombie and washed it down with pineapple and honeydew. Followed by cold tilapia and cold kale. Then tea. Then an apple. Then a plum. Then I felt better.

Two more weeks. Two more weeks.

Brief Whole30 Update

Well. It's been going. I'm officially on Day 11. A short recap so far:

Day 5: I started to break out like a greasy, hormonal teenager.

Day 6 and 7: My head felt like I was receiving a lobotomy with an ice pick. I wanted to sleep all day. Day 6 and 7 happened to be on a Saturday and Sunday and my workout attempts were so sad I have trouble calling them work-outs. On a hike on Sunday I didn't think I was going to make it out of the woods alive.

Day 8-11: Things are starting to come around and I don't feel so much like a zombie. Starting to feel a flare-up coming on. Most likely stress from work and working hours and not Whole30 related.

I haven't had any slips or cheats. Not a one. So far it hasn't been that hard to stay on the plan. I even have made it through two staff meetings (always tons of food), Bagel Day, Cupcake Day and the random crap that is always hanging around any office. The ladies around here do love to bake and share.

I'm waiting for this great sleep to come that everyone talks about and feeling fresh and rested in the morning. So far, not happening. I still feel like I've been on a tequila bender every morning.

Hopefully, I start feeling better while working out.

That's all for now. Sorry for the brief post. I've been busy, busy, busy. More of a recap to come when I'm not working or making Whole30 approved meals.

Day 5

Today is officially Day 5 on the Whole30. I can say that I have been all of the Seven Dwarfs this week. Besides being slightly more Sybil-like than normal this week, I haven't had any trouble with staying on the plan. The hardest part has been the exhaustion at around 2 pm when I normally have my little sugary snack. I do like my Jolly Ranchers, gummy things and dark chocolate. I'm also used to my afternoon coffee. You can have coffee on the Whole30, but they say you shouldn't have any caffeine after noon. I've been sticking to that. If I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do it. The lethargy and headaches in the afternoons for the first few days were pretty intense. I'm hoping it gets better soon.

I have to really plan and organize my meals. I don't want to live on hard boiled eggs and broccoli. I've been trying a few of their recipes. Pretty good so far.

Frittata



Pre-Workout Snack

Wednesday night was my first real activity of Week One. I went for a trail run. I felt like I was running in pudding that was up to my knees. My legs didn't want to work. Last night, I went for the first night ride of the fall and it didn't go as horribly as I expected. Here is a conversation with my body:

Body: Yay! We are riding! There will be sugary snacks and carby drinks!

Me: You will have just water and like it.

Body: WTF? What the Hell is wrong with you?



After working through a few bad patches and fighting the brain fog, it turned out okay. I didn't have any snap or pop, but I really didn't expect to. I'm just happy I lasted over an hour without passing out or having to walk the climb to the car.

My wrist still needs a little time. I can't get all singletrack crazy and a cross race is out of the question for now. It's probably for the best because I can't even think about attempting a hard ride until my body comes around. Rumor has it at around 10 days in you start to feel better. Here's hoping.

I read that people often had dreams of sugary snacks in Week One. I'd been okay unit last night. I dreamt that a co-worker snuck a cupcake under my brussel sprouts and that I took a bite by accident. I was pissed and started screaming at her because I had to start my Whole30 over again. Not the usual cravings dream, I'm sure. It was still pretty messed up and it involved a big cupcake. That's gotta say something about the power of cake.

Pay to Play

My weekend plans were made for me at cross practice this past week. This was my second time at cross practice, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm a hot mess. The first time I couldn't stop giggling because it seemed really silly. During round two this week it was muddy and awesome. I really made an effort to work on my barrier skills (or lack thereof) and cornering on a cross bike in the mud. After a half dozen crashes later, I felt I was getting better. I then had around the seventh crash of the night. Not sure what happened. All I know is that my own tire seared through my shorts at my right inner thigh and also took off some skin and subsequent fat of my inner thigh. My wrist hurt but I didn't think much about it. Just figured I jammed the crap out of it and it would feel better in the morning. Well, the next morning it was all swollie and I couldn't move it in one direction or open and close my hand without pain. Then I knew I had an issue. Seeing how I've broken and/or sprained both wrists and hands at one time or another, I had some devices on hand. Saturday, I was in denial and attempted to ride with a wrist brace. It didn't go well. Don't think I didn't try to learn to dismount to the right and carry my bike with the left hand in hopes that I could still pull off Iron Cross. That was an interesting and frightening experiment that was not going to happen. I was going to end up with more injuries if I continued. There were also some other issues with braking and holding the handlebars. Details.

Maybe I secretly did it on purpose so I don't have to finish my wood stacking project:

It's not a big deal as far as injuries are concerned. It's just an annoyance that may keep me off the bike for a bit. I'm probably going to have to bite the bullet and go see my hand and wrist guy this week. Let's just say I'm no stranger to wrist injuries. I've cut not one, but two of my last casts off myself. He knows that there will not be a cast unless it's absolutely, positively, the only way. Mike has been known to hide the wire cutters and anything else I could possibly use to hack a cast off. Not like I can't go to a hardware store and conduct my business in the parking lot. 

Today, I was pissy and mad I couldn't do IC so we went on a long hike and I tried to kill Mike. It's now being referred to as "Jocelyn's Hike of Death". Let's just say I feel like I accomplished something today.

In unrelated news, this was my last meal before I start the Whole30 tomorrow:
 

I know it's trendy with endurance athletes right now and I've heard some great and horrific things about it. That's not the main reason why I'm doing it. Some people have had great results and have lessened auto-immune symptoms. I'm doing it with two other people who have really active diseases right now. We're all curious to see what happens. I'll keep you posted. It should be interesting. Well, so long, I have to go get my veggies and meat products ready for tomorrow.

Dunno

Having some issues deciding on my weekend. The plan was to do IC. Plans can change. No one wants to go with me and that makes me sad.

Anyone feeling guilty and/or sorry for me yet?

Anyone?



It's okay. I'm also kinda itching to get a cross race out of the way:

However, I am a little afraid of the cross race. I don't know if I'm mentally prepared to take the ridicule and ribbing I will surely receive. I fear know one of my friends has been waiting for this moment for years. She may get her wish.

I could just stay home, not drive anywhere and go on an adventure outside the back door:

OR... I could just stay in the house and watch a Here Comes Honey Boo Boo marathon and lose a few more brain cells:



We'll see.

I've hit a new level of soreness this week.  Mike split it and I'm the official stacker. When I come from work it's there mocking me. It's everywhere and the piles are not getting smaller.

I love posting unflattering photos on myself on the web...

Lucky me that we have flood lights so I can work in the dark.

Terror of Teaberry: Fail

I started to think the universe was telling me not to go to PA:

1. Pulled out and realized I forgot my wallet 15 minutes later and had to go back to the house.
2. I was in a dazed state and took the wrong way on 78 and drove to Newark. Ummm...I've driven 78 west about a gazillion times. Tack on 45 minutes to the trip.
3. Had to pee so badly and every time I got off an exit the gas station or McDonald's was 3+ miles away. They should have to tell you this while on the highway so you can make an educated decision, but I digress. I ended up peeing behind a dumpster of a bank. Twice.
4. While opening up a bag of almonds, they exploded and scattered across the truck.
5. The little truck does not have Sirius. Once in PA, all I could get on the radio were Jesus stations. When I found a decent station, the Jesus stations kept coming through. Creepy.
6. Got to hotel, was unpacking stuff, bag fell off arm and I grabbed it to catch it and there was an open safety pin on the strap and it went through the webbing between my thumb and index finger. That felt lovely.
7. Somehow the skewer bolt and spring worked its way off my wheel in the bed of the truck. I was crawling around with a cell phone light like an asshole in the parking lot trying to find them. A senior couple was perplexed by my behavior and did chat me up in the parking lot and asked me to go to the Bonanza buffet with them. I declined. Not sure how a buffet would feel on the bike. Gag.
8. In the morning, I made my coffee in the room and proceeded to drop the full glass carafe on the bathroom floor. Coffee and glass everywhere. That required some clean up.
9. The check engine light came on as soon as I pulled into the venue.
10. Put on my riding shoes and realized something was in the toe of my left one. It was an almond and the evil safety pin.

I felt good at the start. Michaux is raw and technical to say the least. It's hard to do it justice in a blog post.  I knew I had the fitness and technically I have been riding well. I was confident I would finish. In the first 20 minutes I saw 7+ guys with flats. I shook my head and secretly judged them. Poor guys. How does one flat in the first 20 minutes? Maybe if you wouldn't ride like an out of control idiot down baby head and razor-rock down hills that wouldn't happen. As soon as I got all judgy and stuff it happened. Karma's a bitch. Pssssssss. I kept riding and pretended the noise was a leaf stuck between the fork and tire. It wasn't. Things got squirrely in the rear fast. Fudge. But I didn't say fudge. I saw there was a sidewall tear and got out my tire plugs or "stabbies" as I like to call them. Put in a stabbie and got my big air ready. Turned chuck to crack CO2 and there was chuck fail. Blew big air every which way but in my tire. I was done. I had nothing. Nothing until my drop bag at the aid station. I yelled a few obscenities, kicked a tree and turned around. So pissed. My computer said 30 minutes. Riders passed me. No one wants to give anything up at Michaux. Self preservation is key. I walked my bike in anger back up towards civilization. 15 minutes later, after a few dozen more colorful words were strewn around the forest, I came upon a guy with a pump. He pumped up my tire and it held. I helped him out and used some stabbbies on his hole. That sounds oddly inappropriate, but you know what I meant.

I wasn't sure at that point if I should try to go the way of the course or continue back. I had lost ~25 minutes and I had gone backwards. 25 minutes at Michaux is huge. Computer said 55 minutes. I turned around and tried to make it. I busted my ass. I felt extremely defeated because I couldn't see or hear anyone. Flat tire guy had fallen off behind me. I felt my tire getting softer and I could feel the rim hitting the rocks. Fuck. I had to baby it until the aid station. Made it to the aid station. It only took me 2 hours to go 12 miles. Ugh. I rolled in and used their pump rather than waste another C02. I felt pretty defeated. Grabbed my bottles and went on. I started to bust ass again and finally I caught up to some guys on singlespeeds. They looked like they were pulling the plug and asked if the motos were coming. I told them that no motos were coming. That's the fun part of Michaux races. Motos start taking down the course after the last rider and follow.  I have succumbed to the motos before. I think part of the attrition rate is because of this. It's awful and humiliating.

The loamy freshcut trails were leg sapping to put it mildly. At on point, the course was just arrows through the woods. No trail to be seen. Just riding through saplings and bushwhacking by way of the arrows. Again my tire got a little soft. And no, I would not put a tube in. Not yet. I stopped on an off-camber singletrack section to fill it again. The trail was uneven, so to get my balance I braced myself against the tree. While I was tending to my tire I heard a loud crack and what I now know was a dead tree gave way and I toppled over backwards down the hill, slammed my head and hip into the downed tree and my bike toppled on top of me. Really. I can't make this shit up. That was the most painful crash I've had all year. The good news is my tire held.

I got myself together and carried on. I climbed a long gravel road and drained my bottles. I looked at my mileage and I was at 25ish miles. The next aid station was supposed to be around mile 27, so I wasn't too concerned. Fast forward an hour + later. No aid station. It was not good. I thought I missed it and I wasn't the only one. I felt awful. Dizzy, clumsy and nauseated. I couldn't eat because I had no fluids. My body was not my own. Not good. I felt drunk and was moving backwards at one point. I made it to the aid station at around 32 miles. There were only 4 more miles to go and I got pulled. That sucks. As I was coming out of the singletrack I saw a woman riding up the road. She had just made it. FUCK. I sat and talked to the moto guy who was going to corral the others behind me. Before I left the moto guy told me to hold still and he pulled a inch long twig that was embedded in my arm.  He held it up and asked how I didn't feel it. Delirium I told him. I got my marching orders and directions back. To say it was demoralizing is putting it mildly. It was the ride of shame back to the parking lot.

In trying to find the bright side of my experience, I convinced myself that I was lucky all year with flats and technicals. I was due. It was better that they happened today. I guess. I was then told that during the last 4 miles a few people were stung by bees. Someone pointed out that maybe it was 'luck' that I didn't make it because I'm allergic. The universe? Maybe. I think it's just fudging Michaux.

Camels

Finally, fallish weather has come and my body digs it. So much so that I wish my race season was in the fall. Sure I still have bad days, but everything always feels a little better when the cool comes and the humidity goes away. Even with some snottiness, I was able to finally ride this past weekend. I haven't been on my SS since Shen and took it to Waway for a post-Shen shakedown ride. Sure,we did some maintenance and cleaned it up after the mud bath. However, I was still worried that during the first ride some undiagnosed issues would materialize. The concern was justified after about 20 minutes and my drop-outs started creaking so loudly and obnoxiously that I almost rode back home to tend to the creaking. I stuck it out. Shockingly, nothing major seems wrong with my bike. A little lube and tightening when I got home made the sliding drop-outs quit whining. Just another reason I prefer track fork ends. Less fuss.

The whole weekend was pretty spectacular weather wise. It was hard to make myself go inside. There was some time to find a new trail in the works and explore just where exactly it went or was going to go and where the hell the line was or may be.

Sunday, I did a local bike tour organized by the OCBC. I had planned on it being a relaxing and chill ride. A ride where I could take in the beautiful day and scenery and drink and eat at my leisure. I could even stop and take pictures. I imagined myself smiling, laughing, chatting and taking in the scenery with the chill group I decided to ride with. Somewhere my plans went south and it ended up being an extremely painful and slobber knocking experience. I don't think I got in a drink for the first part of my ride. I got in with a group of guys that were way too fast for me and I was holding on for dear life. In hindsight, I'm not sure what I was thinking. I almost made it to the halfway point and then I popped magnificently and had to limp through for a bit, recover and gather myself until I could latch onto a kinder, gentler group. I was wondering why they looked at me the way they did when we finally rolled into the parking lot and everyone could finally get a good non-rolling look at one another. I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror and there were snot streaks across my glasses and crust all over my face and nostrils. My hair was flapping out of the top of my helmet and it was crusted to my neck in places. I was flushed. Sure, this is normal after races and hard rides. I wasn't expecting this on my peaceful Sunday looky-loo ride. I looked like a deranged mental patient with hygiene issues. I haven't come home from a ride, not showered and passed out on the floor in a long time.

The best part of the day was not the ride, it was the camels. Camels are a big theme in the Warwick Valley. Since a portion of the money from the tour was going to an animal rescue that many camels call home, they had them front and center and accessible throughout the route. I stopped to get some camel loving from four or five of them. As I was taking a picture one was chewing on my helmet, one was nuzzling my leg and this guy below ate my watermelon out of my hand while my head was turned. One lady screamed bloody murder like they were going to eat me. They were like big mushy dogs and were definitely attention whores, but they were going to "eat" no one.

I want one. I really want one. I love them.  I think our yard is big enough for one.  I have already began Googling all things related to getting and keeping a camel. I was on the "I want a goat kick" for a while. More realistic, yes. Not nearly as much fun as I imagine having a camel would be. 

If you know (or have learned) one thing about me it is that moderation is not my strong point.  Doing 5 hundreds this year after 3 years of not doing so much kind of fell into that category. On Wednesday night, I started to think I was kicking my cold and decided to go behind the house for a 'light hike'. My light hike turned into an hour + of trail running on pretty rough terrain. The only walking I did was when I feared I was going to bust my face open on a rocky descent or boulder field and I probably would have gone farther had I not feared my headlamp battery was on the brink of death. I haven't run in a long time. Okay, so I'm a SSer and I am off the bike and walking/trotting/dragging the bike a lot, but it's not the same. My engine felt great and it wasn't enough time for my tendons and joints to scream at me. Thursday, I didn't feel so awful. I even bragged about it a little because Mike told me I was going to be crippled. Today, well that's another story. I feel like I am going to pull a hammy getting in and out of the car and my cold seems to have come back with a vengeance. On the bright side, I covered more ground in that time than I ever have. So I'm gonna say it was worth it.  I will never learn....and maybe I don't want to. 

Sickety Sick

Where have I been, you ask? Well, I've been in a post-Shen/hundred cold/flu funk, that's where. Not feeling so bloggy lately. I had a feeling the night sweats I had the two nights before Shen were not a fluke. Looking back, my snot rockets during the race were more productive than usual. I thought it was allergies and my body reacting to some flora that we don't have in Northern NJ. I've been out of the office for a few days and today was the first day I showed my face and I have to say that I didn't get rave reviews. I was told I still look and sound like crap. Actually, I was told I sound like a man. At least they didn't say I look like a man. It's a tough crowd. If you ever want an honest opinion about yourself I'll give you the address to my office because they'll tell you. It may hurt a little, but sometimes it's good to know where you stand.

I've really not done a thing that resembles any sort of activity since Shen. I've wanted to, but couldn't get my sweaty, snotty self off the couch to do so. I did go with Mike to the Riedlbauer's Round Top Rally in NY. It's one of my favorite courses and I was really bummed I couldn't race it or bring my bike to even ride a lap. I had delusions of running a lap. That grand plan was kiboshed when I carried Mike's bottles to the feed zone and I was wheezing and hacking. I had to sit down and rest. I was better off just sitting in one place and feeding Mike. I'm hoping I can kick this soon and that it does not go into my chest. My immune system isn't the best ever and for those of you who have or know people with certain auto-immune diseases, well, our bodies sometimes like to go from a common cold to pneumonia with the awesome bronchitis label in between. The doctor and hospital visits have been kept to a minimum this year and I'd like to keep it that way.

I have a few things I'd still like to do this year. I'm not used to this whole setting and completing a goal thing so I've been pretty content and not too worried about having some forced rest time. I'll probably do a local road metric on Sunday and hopefully, learn a new route or two from the house to keep the winter more interesting. There probably will be some Iron Cross in my future and maybe, just maybe, the Terror of Teaberry. I may even tag along with Mike and attempt a few cx races. That'll be entertaining and horrifying for all parties involved. I'm also just looking forward to being on my bike and enjoying the fall. There will definitely be some bike squatchin in my future. The good bike stays home and the old faithful beat up ss will come back out to be thrown, dragged and hiked across Northern NJ. Can't wait.

SM100

Well, that was a rough one. I knew the day before when we were spinning our legs out and it was raining that Sunday was going to make for an interesting day. 300+ of my closest friends ripping through the wet trails before I got there would make for some mud and slop. The start was uneventful. I didn't remember the flat road section being so freaking long last year. Maybe because I had gears last year. I tried to just chill and not overspin for what I knew was coming. I got to the climbs and my legs didn't feel as chipper as I would have liked for a full day on the SS ahead. I eased off and really tried to chill out. I've been having some left leg-hip-IT band issues lately and a couple of times I had to stop and pull over a stretch it out. It was so tight and uncomfortable that it felt like someone had a string tied to my knee cap and was trying to pull it off my body. I'm sure I looked like an idiot. After a couple of hours, things started to warm up and cooperate.

There were times it was pouring so hard that I couldn't see a thing. It was the kind of rain where the taste of all the crap and funk that has built up in your helmet over the season was now in your mouth. Mmmmm. Sunscreen, sweat and bugspray. I would put my glasses on to act as a shield against the crap getting in my eyes on the road sections, but there was no seeing out of them. I just prayed I didn't hit a pot hole or rut as I rode blind down some of the gravel roads. 



It was pouring as I was riding down US 250 to Bridge Hollow (I think that's what it was). This section is not SS friendly. It felt like it went on forever. As I was riding, there were MANY riders going the opposite direction. They had pulled the plug. Mass exodus. I knew there was an interesting hike-a-bike section coming up. I turned in and rode across the rocky creek, into the trail, dismounted and started my trek up. There was literally a stream coming at me off the trail. It was not an easy walk because it was so muddy and slippery. I remember it being a bitch last year and it was dry then. Soon there were more people coming towards me and trying to get back to the road and call it quits. I negotiated around them on the tight, slick, bench-cut trail one at a time. One guy told me that if I was smart, I would turn back. Luckily, I rarely take advice advice from strangers and slogging through horrible trail conditions is definitely my strong suit. I remember being able to ride a good part of that singletrack after the hike-a-bike last year. Not this year. I couldn't get any traction in the rear and I was burning matches every time I tried to ride. It was a long hike. I got to the last piece of singletrack before the Aid Station 4 and could ride a little more through the slop. I actually was pedaling on the downhills and was on top of the gear. If I stopped pedaling, the slop would stop me in my tracks. I made it to Aid Station 4, got an eye wash (they were gritty and burning), filled a bottle with water and carried on. I knew this was where it was going to get interesting. I only had 2 hours to make it ~20 miles to Aid Station 5 to make the cut-off for those who did not have lights. I could have quit right then. I actually felt pretty good. I decided that if I'm not going to finish it was going to be because they had to pull me off the course. Being conservative early helped and I was able to stay on the bike a lot more than I did last year on the climb all the way to Aid Station 5. I made the cut-off by 10 plus minutes. Some mean man told me I didn't. I fought with him. I had a few violent thoughts about him. A lady working the aid station told him he was wrong about the cut-off time (he was). As they were bickering and calling to verify, I snuck away. Screw him. I felt better than I had felt all day at this point. I knew I was making it home.

I'm not great with trail names, but after Aid Station 5 there is something I like to call the climb to the "Meadow of Death". There were mud holes last year for a dry race. Imagine what it looked like this year. It was a slog fest. It's rolling with some steeps that I had to get off because I was going nowhere. Even on the flats it was hard to pedal forward because of the pudding like mud. It was leg sapping, to say the least. I passed about 10 + people here. Carnage.

Made it to Aid Station 6 and knew I only had 12 miles to go. I had one more climb to go and you could not wipe the smile off my face at that point. I grabbed my bottle with calories out of my drop bag  and carried on for the final push. After the climb I knew what was left. Some false flats on doubletrack and a downhill that drops into the campground and into the finish. I saw two kids on bikes at one of the corners of the downhill and I knew I had made it. I rolled into the finish and my epic adventure was over (until clean-up). Although, lopping off a good chunk of last year's time didn't happen as I had hoped because of the conditions, I still came in a little quicker. That's still a win.


Please note that it is still light out and I'm drinking my celebratory IPA

Wow. It's over. It still hasn't set in that I finished 5 hundreds on the SS. I actually set a goal and was actually able to see it through without my body completely breaking down. It protested, and it's been a rough past month or so, but I pulled it out.

Thanks to my fabulous traveling buddies for a good time! I will apologize once more for the overpowering cat pee funk smell that my shoes emit. Like I said, we don't have a cat, so I'm not sure what that's about...

LARP Block



LARPers Point

I headed to one of my favorite local haunts for a ride on Saturday and I climbed to the top of Castle Hill Point. I always get to the top, ride through the 'castle', drop down an old stair case and ride back out. Being that it was Saturday, I expected to see people.  It's a hiking hot spot and there is a really pretty overlook. However, I did not expect my company to be dressed in Renaissance garb, carrying swords and an array of weapons. I think I even saw a wench of some sort. As I was weaving around and through the old structure I heard chatter and activity, I saw a man jump off of an old stairway landing into what probably was probably the cellar at one time and scream, "JAHILL! I will avenge you! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" There was commotion and some other war chant and I was confused, alarmed, impressed he didn't twist an ankle on the drop and intrigued all at the same time. Before I knew it, I had turned and I was right smack dab in the middle of about 8+ LARPers (Live Action Role Play for those of you not in the know). Action stopped. SILENCE. They looked at me. I at them. I felt their disapproving stares. I stared at their costumes and tried to take it all in in a matter of seconds. They were not happy to see me. I was ready for them to scream, "INTRUDER!" and attack me. They didn't. It would have made my ride that much more interesting. I just nodded and pedaled off.

Found this on the web. Similar, but my LARPers costumes had a lot more detail

I've been told (I have some friends in the LARP know or who "have a friend"...yeah, right) that it's very secretive so I'm always surprised when I see them, especially in a higher traffic area. I pedaled out and back down the hill. A lady was hiking up with two BIG dogs. I told her that they were in there. I heard the F-bomb under her breathe, she muttered something about them being in there again and wrangled her bigger dog who she said tries to eat them. Yeah, he probably thinks she's under attack.

After a while, I climbed back up and they were gone. I began thinking about them and smiled because they probably thought the sweaty, panting lady in spandex was just as odd as I thought they were.